"Speak no Evil (script by Sadarax):" 

Notes on the Japanese: The conventions for writing Japanese text in Western-English characters vary.
 
* Rendering the sounds: There are several different styles used to phonetically represent the Japanese pronunciation in English characters. For example, the ending particle 'wo' can be rendered as 'ou' 'oh' or simply 'o'. Also, there is the use 'h' such as "dohmo' to single the long form of the vowel pronunciation, like in the word 'row grow flow toe', etc. Some styles use an 'h' while others use an 'u'. 

* Word Breakup: Since Japanese in an algutinating language (multiple things merge together), there also different styles for how their render their words. For example, the phrase 'Kowa(ii)' + 'Garu' + 'Nai' + 'De', that is in English roughly 'Fear' + 'To Feel' + 'Don't' + 'Please'. In Japanese it is spoken without pauses or particles, so it can be renders as one word "kowagarenaide" or in parts "Kowagare naide" or even "Kowagare nai de". 


Japan scene:

xj-9: "Doushatano?" - What's wrong?
Japanese:"Asoko mite wo" - Look over there.
xj-9: Don't panic! "Kowagaranaide!"
xj-9: Everyone take cover! "Minna kakurero!"
xj-9: Hey, toss me a pipe! "paipu wo nagete!"
xj-9: "Dohmo" - Thanks.
Japanese girl: "hay douzho" - Here you go.
xj-9: "Dohmo arigatou" - Thanks a lot.
Japanese folks: "Daijoubu desuka?" - Are you all right?
xj-9: "Daijohbu" - No problem.
Japanese girl: "Sumimasen" - Excuse me.
xj-9: "Un daijohbu desu" - Yes, no problem.
xj-9: "Jya, mattane" - See you everyone!
Japanese girl: "Chotto robot!" - Hey, wait ROBOT!

Brad and Tuck scene:

xj-9: "Konnichiwa" - Hey, guys.
xj-9: "So ne" - I know.
xj-9: "Un ii yo" - Yeah, sure.
xj-9: "Doushatno? Mimi ni gomi ga tamatteruno?" - What? Do you have rubbish stuck in your ears?
xj-9: "Kaimono ni iku no daisuki desu" - I love to go shopping.
xj-9: "Nihon go tomara nai" - I can not stop speaking Japanese.
xj-9: "Dohshite nihon go dake nano?" - Why do I speak Japanese only?
xj-9: "Doushite?" - Why??
xj-9: "Ah aaaahaahhahhhahaha!!!" - Aahahhahaaaaaahaahaah!!!!!

Mrs. Wakeman scene:

xj-9: "Doushatano? nihon go shika hanasenaku natchatta!" - What happened to me? Its become that I can only speak Japanese. (The grammar is weird to translate into English)
xj-9: "Eigo ga zenzen dete konai" - I absolutely cannot speak English.
xj-9: "Nihon no robot ni natchatta! taihen da!" - I've became a Japanese robot. It's awful!!
xj-9: "engurisshu hanasemasen" - I cannot speak English.
xj-9: "Iieh, nani ittenno" - No, what did you say?
xj-9: "Uuuh mendoh kusai!" - Uuuh, so annoying!!!
xj-9: "Jya atto dene" - Well, after then.

Tremorton scene:

xj-9: "Kowagara nai de!" - Don't be afraid!
xj-9: "Minna kakurero!" - Everyone take cover!
xj-9: "Dohzo tasukete kudasai. Minna wo wakarasete kudasai" - Please, help me. Get them to understand.
xj-9: "Kamisama arigatoh. Moh chotto de akirameru tokoro deshta" - Thank God. A little more and I would have given up. (If I'm hearing this correctly, that is what they meant to say, even though 'deshta' is grammatically incorrect)
xj-9: "Mizu ga hoshii" - I need water. (Also: I want water). 
xj-9: "Chotto hose wo shoukasen ni tsunagete kudasai" - Hey, please connect this hose with the hydrant.
xj-9: "Shimatta" - Oooops.
xj-9: "Shoukasen ni tsunagete kudasai" - Please connect that with the hydrant.
xj-9: "Ah chigau chigau" - Ah, No! No!
xj-9: "Hose! Hose!" -That hose! That Hose!
xj-9: "So! So!" - Yeah! Yeah!
xj-9: "Chigau, hose ni tsunagete kudasai" - No, Please connect with hose,the hydrant...
xj-9: "So!" - Yes!
xj-9: "Anta baka!" - You are stupid!
xj-9: "Chotto modotte kite kudasai" - Wait, please come back.
xj-9: "De sha bu" - Deja vu
xj-9: "Dohshite? Dohshite!" - Why? Why!
xj-9: "Doh shiyou?" - What should I do....
xj-9: "Moh iyannattcha" - Enough already. (Just a general expression of frustration)
xj-9: "bus wo oroshinasai!" - Put the bus down!
sponge: "nan da? Nihon go shaberu no ka?" - What, you can speak Japanese?
xj-9: "Anata koso, nihon go shaberu no?" - And you, you can you speak Japanese?
xj-9: "Watashi no tomodachi wo dashite kudasai" - Please let my friend out.
xj-9: "Hai" - Yes! (Sure).
xj-9: "Mizu!" - Water!
Japanese girl: "Sumimasen" - Excuse me.
Japanese girl: "ROBOT, Disc dohzo" - You robot, here's (your)  disc.
Japanese girl: "Arhigatou" - Thanks.