I'm in a stage 3 chroot, following manual... Have all the appropriate mounted(proc), profile sourced, env-updated, date is accurate, timezone set... 

>>> Updating Portage cache:
Traceback (most recent call last):
  File "/usr/bin/emerge", line 3004, in ?
    conf = portage.config(config_profile_path=portage.settings.profile_path[:], \
TypeError: unsubscriptable object

Nothing is emerge-ing either