You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Jesus Christ, I love you.
Stranger: Unfortunately I am not Jesus. Nor Christ.
You: I have come to the wrong place.
Stranger: You can order pizza here.
Stranger: So, would you like some fries with your misplaced Jesus?
Stranger: Here you go. And for your troubles, here are some extra (useless) ketchup packs.
Stranger: Hundreds of them.
Stranger: All taking up the space of your table
You: I don't even like ketchup!
You: Oh God, I'm in hell, aren't I?
Stranger: Too bad. Protocol here says that ketchup must be given
Stranger: NEVER. Now eat your vegan pizza
Stranger: It only has TOMATO PASTE on it
Stranger: It is a trial you must pass!
You: STOP THIS TORMENT, PLEASE SHOW MERCY.
Stranger: Okay, here. Have some more ketchup.
Stranger: I'm putting ketchup on your ketchup now.
You: But why, why must I suffer so?
Stranger: I hope you appreciate my gesture of good will
Stranger: Suffer? Good sir, ketchup is good for you!
Stranger: Like unicorns and narwhals
You: It's full of preservatives and additional colour crap!
Stranger: Except ketchup actually exists
You: NARWHALS EXIST. FUCK YOU.
Stranger: Yes yes, tell me all that when you have it in your mouth
Stranger: What? No they don't! You sir, are high!
Stranger: High off mustard or something.
Stranger: Are you smoking crayons again?
You: Oh, yes. Delicious mustard.
Stranger: You devil. You are no longer welcomed into this establishment!
You: Can I still masturbate?
Stranger: Now leave. Before I waterboard you. But with ketchup.
Stranger: Sure. But only if you jerk it with ketchup in your hands.
Stranger: While I tape it.
You: NO. NOT KETCHUP. KETCHUP IS THE DEMONS.
Stranger: NO JOHN, YOU ARE THE DEMONS
Stranger: YOU ARE NOW THE ZOMBIES
Stranger: THE ZOMBIES' BUTT PLUG?!
You: IA IA CHTULHU FTAGHN!
Stranger: KLAFJEKSLJFDASKFLEWQ
You: OH GOD, TOO MUCH /x/. OVERLOAD.
Stranger: Well sir, here are your ketchup packs.
Stranger: Have a nice day
Your conversational partner has disconnected.