on $*:text:/!(\S+)/S:#:$bartender($regml(1)) alias bartender { var %c msg # Please choose between:,%d describe # goto $1 :bar | return %c !wine, !vodka, !beer, !whiskey, !rum, !cocktails, !sodas, !smoothies, !milk, !water, or !juices :beer | return %c !Guiness, !StPauliGirl, !KilliansIrishRed, !Heineken, !DoEquis, !Miller, !MillerLite, !MillerGenuineDraft, !RollingRock, !Yuenling, !Molson, !Corona, !Coors, !CoorsLite, !AllagashWhite !Budweiser, or !BudLight :wine | return %c !CabernetSavignon, !Champagne, !SparklingWine, !SparklingCider, !Riesling, !Chardonnay, !Sauvignon, !PinotNoir, !Merlot, !Shiraz, !Syrah, or !Zinfandel :whiskey | return %c !Charbay, !McCarthys, !Notch, !OldPotrero, !PeregrineRock, !StGeorge, !Stranahans, !TempleRye, !Wasmuds, or !WoodstoneCreek :Fanta | return %c !FantaStrawberry, !FantaOrange, !FantaOrangeZero, !FantaGrape, !FantaPeach, !FantaGrapefruit, !FantaApple, or !FantaPineapple :Margarita | return %c !ClassicMargarita, !CatalinaMargarita, !FrozenMargarita, !GreenIguanaMargarita, !MidoriMargarita, !PeachtreeMargarita, !PricklyPearMargarita, !RosasPomegranateMargarita, !StrawberryMargarita, or !TurquoiseMargarita ;Daiquiri | return %c !ClassicDaiquiri, !StrawberryDaiquiri,!BananaDaquiri, !BlueberryDaquiri, !ChocolateCoveredStrawberryDaquiri, !DauqiriBlossom, !ChambordDaquiri, or !FlordiaDaquiri :Smoothies | return %c !StrawberryBananaSmoothie, !BlueberryBananaSmoothie, !RasperberryBananaSmoothie, !PeachMangoSmoothie, or !MangoSmoothie, ! :cocktails | return %c !ArnoldPalmer, !Martini, !RumandCoke !Margarita, !WhiteRussian, !BlackRussian, !Bloodwyne, !MidoriLimedrop, !BubbleGumKamikaze, !ElectricScrewdriver, !SourApplePussycat, BlueValium, !PeachZimaSprite, !FrothyLemonade, !JagerBomb, !Daiquiri, !Mudslide, !SexontheBeach, !CordialDaisy, !BlueberryTequilaSour, !PearSourball, !LongIslandIcedTea, !BloodyMary, or !MousersSuperUltraMegaUltimateMajorlyAwesomeCoctail :Martini | return %c !BlueMartini, !SourAppleMartini, !VegasLemonDrop, !CosmopolitanMartini, !RedAppleMartini, !PurpleHooterMartini, !AstroPop, !SurferMartini, !CaramelAppleMartini, !MidnightExpresso, !AlmondJoyMartini, !GodivaMartini, !MintMartini, !SmokyMartini, !VesperMartini, or !LavaLampMartini :rum | return %c !Bacardi, !CaptainMorgan, or !Malibu :vodka | return %c !Absolute, !Belvedere, !GreyGoose, !Imperia, !Seagrams, !Skyy, or !Smirnoff :sodas | return %c !CocaCola, !Pepsi, !Fanta, !MoutainDew, !DrPepper, or !RootBeer :CocaCola | return %c !Coke, !NewCoke, !CaffineFreeCoke, !CokeCherry, !CokeLime, !CokeVanilla, !CokeCitra, !CokeBlackCherryVanilla, !CokeBlak, !CokeLemon, !CokeRaspberry, !DietCoke, !CokeC2, !CokeZero, !CokeLightSango, !DietCokePlus, !CokeOrange, !DietCokeBlackCherryVanilla, DietCokeCitra, or !DietCokeVanilla :Pepsi | return %c !NormalPepsi, !CrystalPepsi, !PepsiBlue, !Pepselseifree, !PepsiTwist, !PepsiNatural, !PepsiWildCherry, !PepsiVanilla, !DietPepsi, !JazzDietPepsi, !PepsiMax, !PepsiOne, !PepsiKaffe, or !PepsiKona :MountainDew | return %c !MtnDew, !DietMtnDew, !Caffeine-FreeMtnDew, !Caffeine-FreeDietMtnDew, !MtnDewCodeRed, !DietMtnDewCodeRed, !MtnDewLiveWire, !MtnDewBajaBlast, !MtnDewMDX, !DewIced, !MtnDewVoltage, !MtnDewThinIceFreeze, !MtnDewThrowback, !MtnDewCherryFusion, !MtnDewDistortion, !MountainDewWhiteOut, or !MountainDewTyphoon :juices | return %c !Lemonade, !Limeade, !AppleJuice, !OrangeJuice, !StrawberryKiwiwJuice, !MangoJuice, !PineappleJuice, !StrawberryJuice, !TangerineJuice, !PomegranateJuice, !CranberryJuice, or !GrapeJuice :Lemonade | return %c !NormalLemonade, !StrawberyLemonade, !KiwiLemonade, !MandarinLemonade, !BlackCherryLemonade, !MangoLemonade, !PineapplePassionLemonade, or !RaspberryPinkLemonade :Limeade | return %c !NormalLimeade, !MintLimeade, !CherryLimeade, or !BlackberryLimeade :DrPepper | return %c !NormalDrPepper, !DietDrPepper, !DrPepperCherry, !DietDrPepperCherry, !Caffine-FreeDrPepper, !Caffine-FreeDietDrPepper, !CherryVanillaDrPepper, or !CherryVanillaDietDrPepper :RootBeer | return %c !AWRootBeer, !BarqsRootBeer, !IBCRootBeer, !MugRootBeer, !StewartsRootBeer, or !VirgilsRootBeer :coors | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Coors :ArnoldPalmer | return %d serves $nick an Arnold Palmer :BlueMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Blue Martini :SourAppleMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Sour Apple Martini :VegasLemonDrop | return %d fixes $nick a Vegas Lemon Drop :CosmopolitanMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Cosmopolitan Martini :RedAppleMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Red Apple Martini :PurpleHooterMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Purple Hooter Martini :AstroPop | return %d fixes $nick an Astro Pop :SurferMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Surfer Martini :CaramelAppleMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Caramel Apple Martini :MidnightExpresso | return %d fixes $nick a Midnight Expresso :AlmondJoyMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Almond Joy Martini :GodivaMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Godiva Martini :MintMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Mint Martini :LavaLampMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Lava Lamp Martini :SmokyMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Smoky Martini :VesperMartini | return %d fixes $nick a Vesper Martini :RumandCoke | return %d fixes $nick a Rum & Coke :ClassicMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Classic Margarita :CatalinaMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Catalina Margarita :FrozenMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Frozen Margarita :GreenIguanaMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Green Iguana Margarita :MidoriMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Midori Margarita :PeachtreeMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Peachtree Margarita :PricklyPearMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Prickly Pear Margarita :RosasPomegranateMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Rosa's Pomegranate Margarita :StrawberryMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Strawberry Margarita :TurquoiseMargarita | return %d fixes $nick a Turquoise Margarita :WhiteRussian | return %d fixes $nick a White Russian :BlackRussian | return %d fixes $nick a Black Russian :Bloodwyne | return %d serves $nick a goblet filled with two parts blood mixed in with one part red wine :MidoriLimedrop | return %d fixes $nick a Midori Limedrop :BubbleGumKamikaze | return %d fixes $nick a Bubble Gum Kamikaze :ElectricScrewdriver | return %d fixes $nick an Electric Screwdriver :SourApplePussycat | return %d fixes $nick a Sour Apple Pussycat :BlueValium | return %d fixes $nick a Blue Valium :PeachZimaSprite | return %d fixes $nick a Peach Zima Sprite :FrothyLemonade | return %d fixes $nick a Frothy Lemonade :JagerBomb | return %d fixes $nick a Jager Bomb :ClassicDaiquiri | return %d fixes $nick a Classic Daiquiri :StrawberryDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Strawberry Daiquiri :BananaDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Banana Daiquiri :BlueberryDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Blueberry Daiquiri :ChocolateCoveredStrawberryDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Chocolate Covered Strawberry Daiquiri :FloridaDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Florida Daiquiri :ChambordDaiquri | return %d fixes $nick a Chambord Daiquiri :DaiquriBlossom | return %d fixes $nick a Daiquiri Blossom :Mudslide | return %d fixes $nick a Mudslide :SexontheBeach | return %d fixes $nick a Sex on the Beach :CordialDaisy | return %d fixes $nick a Cordial Daisy :BlueberryTequilaSour | return %d fixes $nick a Blueberry Tequila Sour :PearSourball | return %d fixes $nick a Pear Sourball :LongIslandIcedTea | return %d fixes $nick a Long Island Iced Tea :Guiness | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Guiness :StPauliGirl | return %d gives $nick a bottle of St. Paul Girl :KilliansIrishRed | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Killan's Irish Red :Heineken | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Heineken :DosEquis | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Dos Equis :Miller | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Miller :MillerLite | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Miller Lite :MillerGenuineDraft | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Miller Genuine Draft :RollingRock | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Rolling Rock :Yuenling | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Yuenling :Molson | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Molson :Corona | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Corona :CoorsLite | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Coors Lite :Budweiser | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Budweiser :BudLight | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Budlite :AllagashWhite | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Allagash White :CabernetSavignon | return %d gives $nick a glass of Cabernet Savignon :SparklingWine | return %d gives $nick a glass of Sparkling Wine :SparklingCider | return %d gives $nick a glass of Sparkling Cider :Riesling | return %d gives $nick a glass of Riesling :Chardonnay | return %d gives $Nick a glass of Chardonnay :Champagne | return %d pops the cork and gives $nick a glass of champagne :Sauvignon | return %d gives $nick a glass of Sauvignon :PinotNoir | return %d gives $nick a glass of Pinot Noir :Merlot | return %d gives $nick a glass of Merlot :Shiraz | return %d gives $nick a glass of Shiraz :Syrah | return %d gives $Nick a glass of Syrah :Zinfandel | return %d gives $nick a glass of Zinafandel :Charbay | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Charbay :McCarthys | return %d gives $nick a bottle of McCarthy's :Notch | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Notch :OldPotrero | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Old Potrero :PeregrineRock | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Peregrine Rock :StGeorge | return %d gives $nick a bottle of St. George :Stranahans | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Stranahan's :TempleRye | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Templeton Rye :Wasmuds | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Wasmud's :WoodstoneCreek | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Woodstone Creek :Absolut3 | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Absolut :Belvedere | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Belvedere :GreyGoose | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Grey Goose :Imperia | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Imperia :Seagrams | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Seagram's :Skyy | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Skyy :Smirnoff | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Smirnoff :Bacardi | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Bacardi :CaptainMorgan | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Captain Morgan :Malibu | return %d gives $nick a bottle of Malibu :Coke | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke :NewCoke | return %d serves $nick a glass of New Coke :CaffineFreeCoke | return %d serves $nick a glass of Caffeine-Free Coke :CokeCherry | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Cherry :CokeLime | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke with Lime :CokeVanilla | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Vanilla :CokeCitra | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Citra :CokeBlackCherryVanilla | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Black Cherry Vanilla :CokeBlak | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Blak :CokeLemon | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke with Lemon :CokeRaspberry | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Raspberry :DietCoke | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Coke :CokeC2 | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke C2 :CokeZero | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Zero :CokeLightSango | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Light Sango :DietCokePlus | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Coke Plus :CokeOrange | return %d serves $nick a glass of Coke Orange :DietCokeBlackCherryVanilla | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Coke Black Cherry Vanilla :DietCokeCitra | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Coke Citra :DietCokeVanilla | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Coke Vanilla :NormalPepsi | return %d serves $nick a glass of Normal Pepsi :CrystalPepsi | return %d serves $nick a glass of Crystal Pepsi :PepsiBlue | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Blue :Pepselseifree | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Free :PepsiTwist | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Twist :PepsiNatural | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Natural :PepsiWildCherry | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Wild Cherry :PepsiVanilla | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Vanilla :DietPepsi | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Pepsi :JazzDietPepsi | return %d serves $nick a glass of Jazz Diet Pepsi :PepsiMax | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Max :PepsiOne | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi One :PepsiKaffe | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Kaffe :PepsiKona | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pepsi Kona :FantaStrawberry | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Strawberry :FantaOrange | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Orange :FantaZero | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Orange Zero :FantaGrape | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Grape :FantaPeach | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Peach :FantaGrapefruit | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Grapefruit :FantaApple | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Apple :FantaPineapple | return %d serves $nick a glass of Fanta Pineapple :MtnDew | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew :DietMtnDew | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Mountain Dew :Caffeine-FreeMtnDew | return %d serves $nick a glass of Caffeine-Free Mountain Dew :Caffeine-FreeDietMtnDew | return %d serves $nick a glass of Caffeine-Free Diet Mountain Dew :MtnDewCodeRed | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Code Red :DietMtnDewCodeRed | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Mountain Dew Code Red :MtnDewLiveWire | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Live Wire :MtnDewBajaBlast | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Baja :MtnDewMDX | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew MDX :DewIced | return %d serves $nick a glass of Dew Iced :MtnDewVoltage | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Voltage :MtnDewThinIceFreeze | return %d serves $nick a Mountain Dew Thin Ice Freeze :MtnDewThrowback | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Throwback :MtnDewCherryFusion | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Cherry Fusion :MtnDewDistortion | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Distortion :MtnDewWhiteOut | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew White Out :MtnDewTyphoon | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mountain Dew Typhooni :NormalDrPepper: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Normal Dr. Pepper :DietDrPepper | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Dr. Pepper :DrPepperCherry: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Dr. Pepper Cherry :DietDrPepperCherry: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry :Caffine-FreeDrPepper: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Caffine-Free Dr. Pepper :Caffine-FreeDietDrPepper: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Caffine-Free Diet Dr. Pepper :CherryVanillaDrPepper: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper :CherryVanillaDietDrPepper: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper :NormalLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Normal Lemonade :StrawberryLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Strawberry Lemonade :KiwiLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Kiwi Lemonade :MandarinLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mandarin Lemonade :BlackCherryLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Black Cherry Lemonade :MangoLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mango Lemonade :PineapplePassionLemonade | return %d servers $nick a glass of Pineapple Passion Lemonade :RaspberryPinkLemonade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Raspberry Pink Lemonade :NormalLimeade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Limeade :MintLimeade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mint Limeade :CherryLimeade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Cherry Limeade :BlackberryLimeade | return %d serves $nick a glass of Blackberry Limeade :AppleJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Apple Juice :OrangeJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Orange Juice :StrawberryKiwiJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Strawberry Kiwi Juice :MangoJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mango Juice :PineappleJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pineapple Juice :StrawberryJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Strawberry Juice :PomegranateJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Pomegranate Juice :CranberryJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Cranberry Juice :TangerineJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Tangerine Juice :GrapeJuice | return %d serves $nick a glass of Grape Juice :Milk | return %d serves $nick a tall glass of cold milk :Water | return %d serves $nick a glass of ice cold water :StrawberryBananaSmoothie | return %d fixes $nick a Strawberry Banana Smoothie :BlueberryBananaSmoothie | return %d fixes $nick a Blueberry Banana Smoothie :RasperberryBananaSmoothie | return %d fixes $nick a Rasperberry Banana Smoothie :PeachMangoSmoothie | return %d fixes $nick a Peach Mango Smoothie :MangoSmoothie | return %d fixes $nick a Mango Smoothie :BloodyMary | return %d fixes $nick a Bloody Mary :MousersSuperUltraMegaUltimateMajorlyAwesomeCoctail | return %d fixes $nick a Mouser's Super Ultra Mega Ultimate Majorly Awesome Coctail :AWRootBeer: | return %d serves $nick a glass of A&W Root Beer :BarqsRootBeer: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Barq's Root Beer :IBCRootBeer: | return %d serves $nick a glass of IBC Root Beer :MugRootBeer: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Mug Root Beer :StewartsRootBeer: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Stewart's Root Beer :VirgilsRootBeer: | return %d serves $nick a glass of Virgil's Root Beer :error | reseterror }