You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hey You: hey Stranger: are you good at giving advice? You: yeah, sure You: what's the problem? Stranger: the problem is kind of complex tbh Stranger: it's a relationship deal You: yeah You: i'm listening Stranger: oh ok Stranger: well, it started out as a hookup kind of Stranger: like 2 months ago You: yeah Stranger: thought it was a one time deal, but he didn't think so Stranger: got my number and texted me like every day or couple of days wanting to hang out Stranger: and we did, had fun kind of Stranger: but it was awkward without Stranger: it was just hard to build off of a hookup Stranger: for me at least You: yeah, i get you Stranger: so i called it Stranger: and then a couple of weeks went by Stranger: and we didn't talk at all really Stranger: well, actually Stranger: like a week after he texted me wanting to try again and i agreed Stranger: and then it just never happened Stranger: then it was his birthday, he had this huge thing at his house and invited some of my really good friends Stranger: then we didn't talk for a couple of weeks You: yeah Stranger: do you want me to keep going? You: yeah sure You: just letting you know i'm still here You: haha Stranger: oh ok haha Stranger: i just feel like idk You: nah it's cool Stranger: i'll try to keep it lively hah Stranger: ok so i was kind of mad about that Stranger: i went to chicago to visit my friend Stranger: and told her all about it Stranger: so she accidentally on purpose texted him Stranger: and then kind of talked Stranger: and he said again that he wanted to see me Stranger: like not quite a week goes by Stranger: and one of his family members dies in a car accident You: ouch, bad timing Stranger: which is how his dad died when he was little so it probably had an extra effect on him Stranger: yeah it wasn't good Stranger: so i texted him in sympathy, we talked about it Stranger: he ended with something like thanks for caring you're one of the only ones Stranger: a couple of days later, i texted him just to check up on him Stranger: and he seemed like, idk, pretty down Stranger: but asked if we could hang out Stranger: so we did last night Stranger: but it was the most awkward thing ever Stranger: because i'm just not sure what this even is Stranger: we were with his friends Stranger: and they left us alone at one point Stranger: and we just chilled together, but neither of us mentioned anything about what had happened Stranger: any of it You: this all does seem really complicated, i can see why you're struggling with it Stranger: it felt like it was guys night or something and i was the odd man out Stranger: yeah i just dunno Stranger: i didn't say that much because Stranger: well it would take a lot of time to really say what i needed to say You: yeah Stranger: and might complicate things more You: i get you Stranger: plus, i didnt want to upset him after everything You: yeah of course Stranger: but when they left us alone, he was like, i don't know why they wanted us to be alone You: i mean with anything like this you're treading on eggshells at the best of times, with the complicated relationship on top of it too? i don't envy that Stranger: yeah Stranger: it's just Stranger: odd really Stranger: well to add to that Stranger: at the end of this week, i'm going back to school Stranger: which is 3 hours away Stranger: so we won't see each other for awhile and it can't really turn into anything You: well You: i mean with hookups and stuff You: you can never really be sure how much the other person is expecting to get out of it? You: you know Stranger: yes Stranger: i do now haha You: like you'll get people saying they just want a night of fun and then it's like.. well no, they didn't really You: some people think that's how to kick something off Stranger: it complicates things so much You: or sometimes they do think they just want a one off and it turns into something more for them Stranger: at least for us You: either way it's a hard way to kick something off because i mean, what are the chances you'll have anything in common? Stranger: exactly You: but then i guess you can have loads in common with someone and no chemistry at all You: so if you get one and not the other sometimes you can build on it i guess? Stranger: mm i guess You: obviously it's not always worth the effort though Stranger: like i'm just confused because on the one hand, he's like yeah i dunno why they're leaving us alone Stranger: doesn't talk about anything that happened You: do you reckon he asked them too? You: leave you alone i mean Stranger: no i don't think so Stranger: i'm not sure Stranger: i really don't know haha You: so what do you think you want? kind of ignoring his feelings, do you want a thing with him or would you call it off at this point without the pressure? Stranger: if he did though, watching some "top gear" whilst commenting wasn't really a great plan on his part Stranger: i want Stranger: well first, i want him to be emotionally stable Stranger: before anything happens You: yeah Stranger: and he's not too much as far as i can tell Stranger: he's down Stranger: so i can't tell if i'm just like a temporary Stranger: maybe she'll make me happy Stranger: kind of person Stranger: like relive old times You: i get you Stranger: like, no he didn't try anything last night Stranger: but i still felt like he might like me like that You: these kind of things are hard to stop once they start, i had an on and off thing with my ex that went on for fucking years, it's an easy thing to get sucked into.. and yeah, it was this whole "my grandad has died, i need comforting thing" and i felt so guilty that i kind of kept getting drawn back into it You: looking back, i think we'd have both been better off without the other Stranger: i think if we could just be like occasional friends Stranger: maybe throw in a benefit here or there Stranger: it would be perfection You: i don't want to sound like a jerk but maybe the school thing is a good excuse? Stranger: no i think you're right on that Stranger: i'll miss him as a person though Stranger: it's hard to explain You: like if i were in your position i could imagine saying that because of all that stuff it'd be too hard to carry on something proper so we'll still see each other as friends every so often but there won't be enough time to build it into something bigger so you don't want him holding out for you but you want to be friends and be there for him while he's upset, all that bullshit You: i totally get you Stranger: but? You: it's the same as with my ex, i felt like.. i wished we'd never got together in the first place because it meant i lost his friendship You: we could never go back quite to how it was You: it's a real regret for me now though You: but that was something that was going on for years so i think you can still fix yours Stranger: i just don't know what to do to fix it Stranger: like, i want to hang out with him again Stranger: but i just want it to be us Stranger: and i want to tell him how i felt about everything Stranger: and what i see happening Stranger: but i don't know if it's the right time You: i think you'll need to wait until he's a bit more settled to do that or he just won't take it well Stranger: yeah Stranger: we don't have more time though You: yeah You: it's a really difficult situation isn't it Stranger: i hate leaving things hanging Stranger: yeah Stranger: like Stranger: yeah Stranger: haha Stranger: i just felt like he still liked me like that last night Stranger: he'd do little things Stranger: looked at me a lot, smiled, laughed You: yeah Stranger: like idk Stranger: teased me kind of Stranger: i just feel like Stranger: we really don't know how to be anything else Stranger: so it's default You: yeah You: i understand that Stranger: at the same time, i never sat next to him Stranger: and he never invited me to Stranger: but we hugged Stranger: and he walked me out to my car Stranger: and like idk Stranger: he said he wanted to do something tonight You: so it sounds like he likes you but doesn't want to push it Stranger: which i found strange, as it was so awkward last night Stranger: but we didn't at all Stranger: i didn't contact him, he didn't contact me Stranger: i'm just so confused Stranger: and i can't ask him about it You: i don't know, if he's just recently suffered a loss he's probably acting funny because of that too Stranger: true Stranger: that among other things Stranger: he's been working like everyday Stranger: so i'm sure he's feeling kind of drained You: yeah, must be Stranger: i know it can't happen Stranger: but i feel like Stranger: hah Stranger: i want to just go back to old times for like an hour or two and cuddle You: i know that feeling if it makes you feel any better, i'm sure he'd like that too though Stranger: can't do it though can i You: probably not to be honest Stranger: what would you do? Stranger: should i even bother texting him? Stranger: i want to be there for him but not thereee for him You: do you think there's a way you can keep it friendly without it turning into something else? You: i mean if you think you can then sure but i'm guessing you can't Stranger: i feel like it would be hard and/or awkward Stranger: haha You: i think the school thing is probably the best way then You: just kind of being less and less in contact so he doesn't get too upset You: seems like the gentlest way Stranger: should i talk to him before i leave? Stranger: should i stop texting him? Stranger: see here's another thing Stranger: back when we were doing our thing, he would always text me first Stranger: i hate texting and he knows that Stranger: but after everything i started initiating Stranger: so i just Stranger: really don't know, i feel like if i stop he'll think i don't want to be around him at all Stranger: like it was a few weeks ago Stranger: could i say something to him like Stranger: i know there's a lot we need to talk about Stranger: but right now i just want to be friends Stranger: ? You: yeah i think so You: he must understand that you're going to be busy once you're back at school and everything, he's probably already expecting something You: it's just really bad timing for you You: he'd probably agree though, much as he won't be happy about it right away, it'll be the best thing for both of you Stranger: yeah Stranger: if we were to do anything we'd both regret it later You: i think so too, yeah You: it sounds like there's already an attachment there and it won't help either of you to deepen that You: certainly not now anyway Stranger: maybe it would be better if i didn't say much Stranger: i wish i could but it's like Stranger: i can't say too much, but i can't say nothing, either You: i guess you just give him as much as he wants You: like what you said earlier You: try that and if he wants more of an explaination, i'm sure he'll ask You: but if he's satisfied with that then that's it Stranger: ok You: just a "we'll talk about it when we can" You: you know? Stranger: yeah You: it's a really shitty situation to be in though, i feel for you both Stranger: i'm just bummed about the whole thing Stranger: ha thanks Stranger: i appreciate all of this Stranger: i really do You: no problem, i'm glad you're the first person i've spoken to on here not trying to show me a cock Stranger: haha Stranger: yeah no chance of that You: :P Stranger: should probably get some sleep though You: yeah, good plan Stranger: so tomorrow should i text him? You: i think so yeah Stranger: or should i wait Stranger: ok You: i think the sooner you get it all done the better Stranger: just a hey how are you kind of thing You: especially if you think you might need a while to plan what you'll say and what not Stranger: or should i cut to the chase Stranger: yeah You: nah i'd try and chat a little first You: i think Stranger: ok Stranger: i think you're right You: obviously don't draw it out forever either though You: that'll be shit for you too :P Stranger: haha Stranger: damned if i do, damned if i don't Stranger: i think it would be easier to say it over text Stranger: but in person is way more effective You: yeah You: i kind of hate texting Stranger: as do i You: i think it might be more comfortable for both of you though at first Stranger: ok You: these kind of things in person, you think you've planned out what you'll say and everything but you're there and you kind of get.. sidetracked? You: and then it just doesn't happen You: you get to hide behind your phone this way You: haha Stranger: or you just feel like you shouldn't You: yeah Stranger: haha Stranger: yeah guess i will be Stranger: that's how i felt last night Stranger: god You: i've been there Stranger: just the longest pauses for part of it Stranger: and then these weak attempts at small talk Stranger: hate it Stranger: i feel for you Stranger: ok You: good luck then, i hope i helped Stranger: haha i think my hour is up Stranger: thanks Stranger: you definitely did Stranger: have a lovely life x You: you too You: x