[enter in V outfit]
Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici
By the power of truth, I while living, have conquered the universe.



I came here today expecting to do my V routine.  In case you weren't aware, my V routine is a card stabbing routine timed to V's almost obnoxiously alliterative introduction speech from the movie V for Vendetta.  I started creating this routine at about six p.m. on the first day of magic camp last year, and have been working steadily throughout the year.  I am proud to say that, after a year of intense work, I have completed...
[long pause]
...just about half of it.  So, some time last month, it hit me:
[take off V gloves, mask, and wig]
My V routine is not going to happen.  I also remembered something that Rabbi Brian Zachary Mayer told me two years ago, during workshop.  He told me that I needed to be more ME in my routines, that I needed to sculpt my routines around my personality.  I asked him what "ME" was, and he answered in one word: "Quirky."  I wasn't quite sure what it meant.
[pause]
After two years of thought, I have decided that I STILL don't have a clue what the hell he meant.  I tried to script myself, but it's next to impossible to script yourself, because, unless you're performing without a script, you're never quite sure what YOU are.  That didn't stop me from trying, though.  So, after some serious thought and effort, this is what I have come up with so far:
[silence, stare at the audience]
Thank you.