/slap {
  var %item = $read(itemlist.txt)
  if (clockhart isin $address($1,1)) echo -a You can't slap $1 it spams remember ;)
  if (clockhart isin $address($1,1)) halt
;change Clockhart to Peer ot what ever ;)
  if ($1 == $me) describe $chan slaps himself with $iif($right(%item,1) == s,some,$iif($left(%item,1) isin aeiou,an,a))) %item
  else describe $chan slaps $1 with $iif($right(%item,1) == s,some,$iif($left(%item,1) isin aeiou,an,a))) %item 
}