[21:50] * the_choiceless_one (fartshaped@82-44-144-83.cable.ubr01.haye.blueyonder.co.uk) has joined #fragileminds [21:50] hello [21:50] hi [21:50] are you new [21:51] found schizophrenia-online.com just now and then decided to log into IRC [21:51] ok [21:51] did a search on schizophrenic chat rooms [21:51] are you schizo [21:51] allegedly, maybe, unsure [21:52] ok - I know little about the disorder [21:52] but other chatters here - know a lot about it [21:52] ive read my health reports - and 'long history of auditory hallucinations' was mentioned, which may or may not be true, depending on whether people were actively trying to make me hear comments about me and my life, or whether i was just paranoid [21:52] however they are not here right now [21:53] right now, i have 4 hours til work, and because of the paranoid nature of my existence over the last few years, i am considering not turning up [21:53] how old are you [21:53] 26 [21:53] where are you [21:53] london [21:53] we have folks from london here too [21:53] but not now [21:53] I say - you go to work [21:54] are you on meds [21:54] no i stopped taking them after a week [21:54] why [21:54] because I didn't and don't believe that my problems were all illusionary in nature, or that I was hearing comments or seeing into things that didn't exist [21:54] your illness is treatable [21:55] so I felt like taking the meds was a fake step [21:55] I feel as if my illness is seeking the truth in a world full of liars [21:55] what do you think the real problem is [21:55] rather than a schizophrenic type illness [21:55] what do you think your illness is [21:56] that a group or society decided to play with my marijuana infested mind, made me feel fear and confusion, then I withdrew into a world which was consumed by fear and paranoia [21:56] then things got worse, time elapsed, I was hospitalised and further taunted [21:56] you could be right [21:57] you are able to hold a job [21:57] ive been in this job two weeks, and before that didnt work for 9 months [21:57] I had a it of fear and paranoia - anti anxiety meds helped [21:58] do you have a support group [21:58] after i was released from hospital i wasnt contacted by the health authorities for 6 months [21:58] what about family [21:59] I have a mother who doesnt understand [21:59] families don't usually understand - from what I can tell [21:59] i have a sister i half trust [21:59] ok [21:59] male? [21:59] when i was in hospital, i was with a person who could hear my thoughts. [22:00] yep [22:00] this person said exactly what i was thinking a few seconds after i thought it [22:00] memories like that are hard to resolve b y myself [22:00] hmmm - I doubt that person could hear your thoughts [22:00] then i must have had an auditory hallucination, as the docs would say [22:00] but i very much doubt that [22:00] hmmm [22:01] it's hard to make snese of something like that, or anything like that that doesn't make sense [22:01] true [22:01] you are having trouble sleeping [22:01] yes [22:02] I need to go - will you be ok [22:02] yes [22:02] thanks for the chat [22:03] you bet [22:03] come back again [22:03] * Relaxabit1234 (Relaxabit1@msntv2.0-1pool197-191.nas31.tukwila2.wa.us.da.qwest.net) has left #fragileminds [22:03] * the_choiceless_one (fartshaped@82-44-144-83.cable.ubr01.haye.blueyonder.co.uk) has left #fragileminds