1 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,902 INSPECTOR CHAN 2 00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:53,068 SUPER CRIME FIGHTERS 3 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,251 Anyone else? 4 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,595 Such a beautiful woman... 5 00:02:16,769 --> 00:02:20,136 ...and you arrest her... 6 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:23,036 ...just for spitting? 7 00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:26,941 Is there no justice? 8 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:30,207 Is there no law? 9 00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:33,779 Commissioner is only your boss... 10 00:02:33,953 --> 00:02:36,547 ...because he paid his dues to the Crocodile Gang. 11 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,723 And you don't fucking know me? 12 00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:43,525 Sorry, I didn't know she was your wife. 13 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,628 Ugly coward! 14 00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:01,142 What are you looking at? Never seen such a handsome gang boss? 15 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,421 Who'd be in the film business? 16 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,354 It's Sunday, and the theater's deserted. 17 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,661 Where's the car? 18 00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:28,496 Let's go back inside! 19 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,587 Call for help! 20 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,361 No need for that, Northerner. 21 00:03:56,536 --> 00:04:01,872 While you were messing with the cop, your men signed up with us. 22 00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:06,378 I'll kill all you Axe Gangsters! 23 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:44,245 Stop! You forget the time I treated you to dinner. 24 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,455 Brother Sum. 25 00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,296 Please... 26 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,701 Please spare me. 27 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,106 Don't worry. 28 00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:15,511 I don't kill women. You can go! 29 00:05:16,282 --> 00:05:17,943 Thank you, Big Brother. 30 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,523 Cops! Come clean up the mess! 31 00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:56,376 THE AXE GANG 32 00:06:58,551 --> 00:06:59,752 In a time of social unrest and disorder... 33 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:00,480 In a time of social unrest and disorder... 34 00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:03,451 ...the gangs have moved in to consolidate their power. 35 00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:06,057 The most feared of them all is the Axe Gang. 36 00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:10,059 Only in the poorest districts, which hold no interest for the gangs... 37 00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:11,890 ...can people live in peace. 38 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,061 PIG STY ALLE Y 39 00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:38,513 One, two, three! 40 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:41,423 - That okay, Coolie? - No problem! 41 00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:00,944 TAILOR 42 00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:06,683 NOODLES AND CONGEE 43 00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:30,067 My check, please, Donut. 44 00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:35,970 - How much? - It's on the house! 45 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,342 Donut. 46 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,849 - It's nothing. - I like you. 47 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:43,011 I'll ask the wife about lowering your rent. 48 00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:46,420 Morning, Landlord! 49 00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:49,483 Landlord! 50 00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,323 Jill! How you've grown! 51 00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:53,692 Come let me examine you! 52 00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:08,677 Good to see you, Landlord! 53 00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,338 What's so good about it? 54 00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:11,676 Don't...! 55 00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:22,859 Can you make the skirt slit higher? 56 00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:25,053 Sure! 57 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,698 Look, a comet! 58 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,726 Jane! You naughty girl! 59 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:35,601 Landlord! You're such a scoundrel! 60 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:42,737 Don't go, Jane! Stay and chat! 61 00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:46,212 I'm only kidding. Jane! 62 00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,071 Landlady! 63 00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:10,341 Landlady! 64 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,971 What happened to the water? 65 00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:31,589 Water ain't free! 66 00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:35,996 You talk a lot for someone who won't pay his rent. 67 00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:39,865 But I'm in the middle of a shampoo. 68 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:41,506 You think that's a problem? 69 00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:44,700 From now on, no water on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. 70 00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:47,812 Water ration Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. 71 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:52,849 I just love hearing you fools complain. Assholes! 72 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,213 Good morning, Landlady! 73 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:58,619 Just pay your rent, or I'll burn your shop down. 74 00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:02,521 What's so funny? Rent's no laughing matter, fairy! 75 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:08,456 Serves you right you're a coolie! 76 00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:11,831 Months overdue and not even a "good morning." 77 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:13,869 You'll be a coolie for life. 78 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,710 There you go, handsome! 79 00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:28,085 What took you so long with the congee? 80 00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:31,155 I stopped to help an old lady cross the street. 81 00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:34,087 - What are you doing here? - Checking for Peeping Toms. 82 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,490 Was someone just spying on you, Auntie Six? 83 00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:40,223 Don't shoot your mouth off without proof. 84 00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:46,270 She's crazy. 85 00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,533 Go away! 86 00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:41,958 Please can you teach us, sir? 87 00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,220 No more soccer! 88 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,762 - Who wants the cut? - My boss. 89 00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:25,596 Take a seat. 90 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,973 Done! Fifty cents, please. 91 00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:42,010 Isn't it great? 92 00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:43,812 It's too good! 93 00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:46,851 Why'd you make him look so good? 94 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:48,959 Why? 95 00:13:56,368 --> 00:14:00,031 Don't get mad, boss. He's my old buddy. I'll handle this. 96 00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:05,704 He's boss of the Axe Gang. Don't you see the two axes? We're bad guys. 97 00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:08,711 Making him look good is really bad. Understand? 98 00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:11,179 - I didn't know. - You're a numskull! 99 00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:14,978 But I like you, so just pay me, and I'll take care of it. 100 00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:16,212 No way! 101 00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:22,256 Steady with the axe, boss. Let me talk to him. 102 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:27,991 I really care for you. You saw it for yourself. Seriously. 103 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:32,501 Why don't you pay up. Not much. Enough for a drink. 104 00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,832 Oh, so it's blackmail! 105 00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:38,006 Boss! 106 00:14:38,844 --> 00:14:40,004 Boss! 107 00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:47,012 Now you're dead! 108 00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,711 Looks like he's waking up! 109 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,220 I'm not afraid. 110 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,358 You can kill me. 111 00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:56,926 But there'll be thousands more of me! 112 00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:03,397 You want to play tough? The Axe Gang boss is napping in there. 113 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,366 Whoever wants to die, step forward. 114 00:15:07,706 --> 00:15:10,140 So you want to fight? 115 00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:13,369 Great! We'll go one-on-one. 116 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:16,708 Don't even think about cheating. 117 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,709 That old woman with the onion! 118 00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:26,389 You look real tough. Want to try me? I'll let you hit me first. 119 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,495 What do you do? 120 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,394 I'm a farmer. 121 00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:38,058 Farmers don't fight. Piss off! 122 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:39,602 He's crazy! 123 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,296 Calling me names? 124 00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:44,067 You're lucky you're a woman. 125 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:50,510 Hey, shorty! Yeah, you! If you're short, you don't retort. 126 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:57,421 What did I say about cheating? 127 00:15:57,589 --> 00:15:58,851 Sit back down! 128 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,522 You! The geezer with the glasses. You look mean. 129 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:10,828 No, not you. I mean... 130 00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,129 You! 131 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:15,034 Hey, kid, let's rumble! 132 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,807 All right, all right! 133 00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:22,672 So no one-on-ones today. 134 00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:25,043 You're all such wimps! 135 00:16:27,953 --> 00:16:30,114 He blackmailed me. 136 00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:33,685 Fat woman, you're in charge here, right? 137 00:16:33,859 --> 00:16:35,622 Fat woman, my ass! 138 00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:37,556 I'm with the Axe Gang! 139 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:38,856 Axe Gang, my ass! 140 00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:40,020 Boss! 141 00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:41,791 Boss, my ass! 142 00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,229 - You have to pay our medical bills! - Bills, my ass! 143 00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:46,667 - We're on the same side! - Same side, my ass! 144 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,970 Think you're so tough? I'll call for backup! 145 00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:57,649 You nitwit! Let's see you call backup! 146 00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:02,647 You don't know the backup I have. I'm talking an army here. 147 00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:08,820 Don't you go away! Go put a down payment on your coffin! 148 00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:23,773 Who threw the firecracker? 149 00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:31,505 I'm one of you, brother. 150 00:17:53,872 --> 00:17:55,362 Mind your own business! 151 00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:59,033 It's raining. Go bring in your laundry! 152 00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:00,608 Fat woman! 153 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:17,892 You blackmailing me too? I ain't afraid. 154 00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:35,202 I... 155 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,893 Did anyone see what happened? 156 00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:01,566 Don't! My back's broken! 157 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,037 Call for help! 158 00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:01,721 Hold on, calm down. You hungry? 159 00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:28,287 Keep quiet. 160 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:45,108 No. 161 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:10,458 Who did this? 162 00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:16,239 I'll count to three. 163 00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:20,237 One... 164 00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:25,817 ...two... 165 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,456 I did it! 166 00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:58,161 Are the goods okay, Brother Sum? 167 00:25:00,232 --> 00:25:01,460 Sorry! 168 00:25:04,603 --> 00:25:06,594 Look away, kid. 169 00:25:10,876 --> 00:25:12,207 Get rid of him! 170 00:25:13,578 --> 00:25:15,569 We're the bad guys! 171 00:25:15,747 --> 00:25:17,772 We're meant to do the ass-kicking... 172 00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:20,877 ...not the other way around. 173 00:25:21,052 --> 00:25:24,385 And it's all because these morons posed as Axes. 174 00:25:24,556 --> 00:25:27,787 Don't waste your time, Brother Sum. 175 00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:30,723 We'll handle this. 176 00:25:30,896 --> 00:25:32,796 You! Take care of it. 177 00:25:47,012 --> 00:25:52,075 - Boy, can this guy pick locks. - It's a living. Give me a break. 178 00:25:52,250 --> 00:25:54,912 Pick that one too, if you're so good. 179 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,309 Come. 180 00:25:57,022 --> 00:25:59,820 I'll count to three. 181 00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:01,649 Hurry! 182 00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,226 Ready? Three! 183 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,037 That's quick! 184 00:26:18,376 --> 00:26:20,901 Brother Sum, we really want to be Axes. 185 00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:23,980 That's why we did what we did. Give us a chance. 186 00:26:24,316 --> 00:26:25,647 Ever killed anyone? 187 00:26:25,817 --> 00:26:28,308 I've always thought about it. 188 00:26:28,653 --> 00:26:30,086 Then go kill someone. 189 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:32,223 I will! 190 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:34,650 Go on! 191 00:26:35,060 --> 00:26:36,550 Thank you, Brother Sum. 192 00:26:48,106 --> 00:26:51,598 We can always find a use for that type. 193 00:26:55,013 --> 00:26:57,846 I told you before, you've got to look tough. 194 00:26:58,016 --> 00:26:59,506 Tougher! 195 00:27:00,852 --> 00:27:02,615 Tougher! 196 00:27:04,689 --> 00:27:06,247 Act the part. 197 00:27:06,424 --> 00:27:07,891 And try to stay awake. 198 00:27:08,059 --> 00:27:09,424 It's tiring being tough. 199 00:27:09,594 --> 00:27:12,688 Tiring? It's our living! 200 00:27:13,832 --> 00:27:17,529 The streets out there are filled with money and women. 201 00:27:17,702 --> 00:27:20,432 You only need the will and determination... 202 00:27:20,605 --> 00:27:23,938 ...to seize the opportunity to win. 203 00:27:24,209 --> 00:27:25,767 This is our big chance! 204 00:27:25,944 --> 00:27:28,640 We just kill someone, and we're in the gang. 205 00:27:29,114 --> 00:27:32,606 Then it'll be money and women all the way! 206 00:27:33,551 --> 00:27:36,418 Don't be like those beggars... 207 00:27:36,621 --> 00:27:39,351 ...with no ambition. 208 00:27:44,295 --> 00:27:47,458 Who are you looking at, four-eyes? I'll smash your glasses! 209 00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:50,460 Get lost! 210 00:27:50,802 --> 00:27:52,133 Come here and say that! 211 00:27:52,303 --> 00:27:54,464 - You're really gonna kill someone? - That's right! 212 00:27:54,639 --> 00:27:58,234 The four-eyes, the fat woman and all the residents of Pig Sty. 213 00:27:58,410 --> 00:28:00,173 But they're good at kung fu. 214 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:03,178 - I can do kung fu! - Oh, yeah? 215 00:28:05,316 --> 00:28:08,979 Didn't I tell you I know Buddhist Palm kung fu? 216 00:28:10,789 --> 00:28:14,225 Hey there, handsome boy. Stop. 217 00:28:15,927 --> 00:28:18,657 Amazing! 218 00:28:19,064 --> 00:28:23,330 Do you know you have a special aura? 219 00:28:23,935 --> 00:28:27,371 You're so young, but you have the bone structure... 220 00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:30,940 and chi flow of a kung-fu genius. 221 00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:35,707 If your chi flow can be channeled, then you will be invincible! 222 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,441 Like the old saying: You cannot escape your destiny. 223 00:28:39,918 --> 00:28:44,685 The duty of upholding world peace and punishing evil will be yours. 224 00:28:45,190 --> 00:28:46,179 Sure. 225 00:28:47,092 --> 00:28:50,528 This is the scroll of the Buddhist Palm. It's priceless. 226 00:28:50,695 --> 00:28:54,222 But as it's fate, I'll let you have it for $ 10. 227 00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:58,559 BUDDHIST PALM MANUAL 228 00:29:02,507 --> 00:29:05,067 - You gave him your life savings? - Yes. 229 00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:08,508 I was saving to study to be a doctor or lawyer... 230 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:11,080 ...but this was world peace. 231 00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:37,438 Let go of the girl! 232 00:29:56,394 --> 00:29:59,227 Hey! It's the Buddhist Palm! 233 00:29:59,564 --> 00:30:01,725 "The 20-Cent Kung Fu Manual." 234 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:03,629 You must be loaded. 235 00:30:04,035 --> 00:30:06,196 Have you killed anyone lately? 236 00:30:17,482 --> 00:30:22,385 He's a fool, and she's mute. Losers! 237 00:30:24,155 --> 00:30:27,989 I realized then that good guys never win. I want to be bad. 238 00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:30,920 I want to be the killer! 239 00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,425 - Ice cream! - Where? 240 00:30:35,233 --> 00:30:36,996 Make mine a vanilla. 241 00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:38,533 Chocolate for me! 242 00:30:50,081 --> 00:30:53,073 What're you looking at? Never seen free ice cream before? 243 00:30:58,523 --> 00:30:59,683 Look at her run! 244 00:31:15,039 --> 00:31:20,375 You're such kung-fu masters, go take it on the road. 245 00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:22,877 You belong in the circus, not here! 246 00:31:23,047 --> 00:31:27,279 Don't say that, Landlady. There must be a reason they're here. 247 00:31:27,585 --> 00:31:29,951 Everyone has his reasons. 248 00:31:30,121 --> 00:31:32,214 We don't want to make trouble. 249 00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:35,086 I'm glad you get it. The mob's mad at us. 250 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:38,388 We'll never hear the end of it. Why don't you get lost! 251 00:31:39,464 --> 00:31:41,728 Your wife shouldn't be so nasty. 252 00:31:44,002 --> 00:31:45,833 You okay? 253 00:31:47,772 --> 00:31:49,296 Masters. 254 00:31:56,915 --> 00:31:58,906 We have nothing precious to give you... 255 00:31:59,083 --> 00:32:01,415 ...but take this as a token of our appreciation. 256 00:32:02,287 --> 00:32:04,187 Thanks for saving us! 257 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:14,922 Stop the crying. This isn't a show! 258 00:32:15,099 --> 00:32:18,660 - You're so cold-hearted. - Talking back to me, eh? 259 00:32:18,836 --> 00:32:21,634 You may know kung fu, but you're still a fairy. 260 00:32:24,142 --> 00:32:27,043 It's no crime to be good at kung fu! 261 00:32:27,211 --> 00:32:29,975 Once a fairy, always a fairy. 262 00:32:30,148 --> 00:32:33,675 Look at you. What's with the red underwear? 263 00:32:33,851 --> 00:32:36,342 Why not a diaper while you're at it. 264 00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:39,647 What's wrong with red underwear? 265 00:32:39,891 --> 00:32:42,724 Where were you when there was trouble? 266 00:32:42,894 --> 00:32:46,853 If it weren't for them, we'd be finished. Be reasonable! 267 00:32:47,031 --> 00:32:48,521 I'll reason with you. 268 00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:51,965 You owe me three months' rent. That's $90. 269 00:32:52,136 --> 00:32:54,400 Pay up or pack up! 270 00:32:54,572 --> 00:32:56,733 Don't you worry. I'll pay it. 271 00:32:56,908 --> 00:32:59,399 Think you're a smartass, Rabbit-Tooth Jane? 272 00:32:59,577 --> 00:33:02,205 What's it to you, tub of lard? 273 00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:03,540 Bitch! 274 00:33:04,682 --> 00:33:06,343 Calm down, Landlady. 275 00:33:07,752 --> 00:33:09,811 This is your fault. 276 00:33:12,023 --> 00:33:14,321 - Are you trying to kill us? - You're right. 277 00:33:14,492 --> 00:33:16,653 How could you do that? 278 00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:18,762 Shut the hell up! 279 00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:34,240 You think you can out-yell me? 280 00:33:38,349 --> 00:33:41,113 The fat lady can really sing. 281 00:33:42,153 --> 00:33:43,643 Watch this! 282 00:33:58,603 --> 00:33:59,797 What happened? 283 00:34:00,171 --> 00:34:03,106 What do you mean, what happened? You try it. 284 00:34:03,274 --> 00:34:05,242 - Me? - Quick! 285 00:34:11,082 --> 00:34:13,346 Sorry! You okay? 286 00:34:14,118 --> 00:34:17,451 I think you should get closer and take better aim. Okay? 287 00:34:17,622 --> 00:34:18,611 Okay! 288 00:34:30,835 --> 00:34:33,497 - Who's throwing the handles? - Handle? 289 00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:37,608 Where's the third knife? 290 00:34:38,276 --> 00:34:40,710 God knows where it went. 291 00:34:40,878 --> 00:34:43,346 Could it be the same one? Can't be... 292 00:34:43,514 --> 00:34:45,277 - Don't! - Sorry. 293 00:34:47,452 --> 00:34:49,283 What are you trying to say? 294 00:34:49,454 --> 00:34:53,618 I just remembered I have something to do. See you! 295 00:34:56,227 --> 00:34:58,286 Uh-oh. They've seen us! 296 00:34:59,797 --> 00:35:01,230 Stay back! 297 00:35:09,807 --> 00:35:13,903 Don't panic! Snakes like music. If I whistle, they won't bite. 298 00:35:14,078 --> 00:35:15,636 Please, no more bright ideas. 299 00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:21,217 Oh, what the hell! 300 00:35:27,992 --> 00:35:29,550 Not you again, asshole! 301 00:35:29,727 --> 00:35:33,094 Get back to your business! 302 00:35:34,932 --> 00:35:36,422 Split up! 303 00:35:38,703 --> 00:35:39,863 Split? 304 00:37:52,803 --> 00:37:54,134 What're you doing here? 305 00:37:54,305 --> 00:37:56,466 Looking for you. Weren't you hurt? 306 00:37:56,641 --> 00:37:57,835 I'm fine! 307 00:37:59,910 --> 00:38:02,811 How come you always recover so fast? 308 00:38:03,147 --> 00:38:04,637 I don't know. 309 00:38:05,016 --> 00:38:07,644 - Which hospital did you go to? - Don't remember. 310 00:38:08,419 --> 00:38:10,046 Maybe it's better that way. 311 00:38:10,221 --> 00:38:14,920 Memories can be painful. To forget may be a blessing! 312 00:38:15,092 --> 00:38:17,925 I never knew you were so deep. 313 00:38:19,163 --> 00:38:21,654 All the sadness one can bear... 314 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,905 ...down the river everywhere. 315 00:38:35,212 --> 00:38:36,804 Hey, get out of the way! 316 00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:38,243 Move! 317 00:38:38,416 --> 00:38:40,077 I'll slap you to kingdom come! 318 00:38:40,451 --> 00:38:44,285 Look at those four-eyes carting around a coffin. 319 00:38:46,123 --> 00:38:47,613 What morons! 320 00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:51,988 Don't blame me for making you leave. 321 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:56,224 We'll let Buddha decide... 322 00:38:56,701 --> 00:38:59,101 ...whether you stay... 323 00:38:59,270 --> 00:39:01,704 ...or go. 324 00:39:05,609 --> 00:39:07,600 HORRIFICALLY BAD FATE 325 00:39:19,590 --> 00:39:21,353 Have some tea. 326 00:39:28,632 --> 00:39:31,692 We're grateful for some professional help. 327 00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:35,532 We understand the problem. Twelve Kicks from the Tam School... 328 00:39:35,706 --> 00:39:40,700 ...Iron Fist from the Hung School and the Hexagon Staff... 329 00:39:41,278 --> 00:39:43,269 Those guys at Pig Sty are really good. 330 00:39:43,447 --> 00:39:45,711 Their warrior days are long over... 331 00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:49,653 ...but they're still top fighters. 332 00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:54,889 This job is a great challenge for us. 333 00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:57,751 Now, that's professionalism. 334 00:39:57,928 --> 00:40:03,264 Number One Killers. Expensive, yes, but worth every penny! 335 00:40:03,434 --> 00:40:04,423 No! 336 00:40:04,602 --> 00:40:09,665 Number one is the Beast, the world's top killer. 337 00:40:10,141 --> 00:40:14,441 He was so dedicated to kung fu, he went crazy. 338 00:40:14,612 --> 00:40:17,911 I heard he's now in an asylum. 339 00:40:18,516 --> 00:40:21,815 So you're the top killers now. 340 00:40:21,986 --> 00:40:26,355 Strictly speaking, we're just musicians. 341 00:40:26,657 --> 00:40:31,424 A song that wrenches the heart O where do I find a knowing ear? 342 00:40:31,695 --> 00:40:36,098 Great poem, isn't it? 343 00:40:44,175 --> 00:40:45,699 We'll be saying goodbye soon. 344 00:40:45,876 --> 00:40:48,367 Who knows when we'll see each other again. 345 00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:53,311 We're three of a kind. Wish we'd known before. 346 00:40:53,484 --> 00:40:56,783 Let's take this opportunity to spar a little. 347 00:40:57,021 --> 00:41:00,388 No. We still have a lot to pack. 348 00:41:01,158 --> 00:41:02,887 You're right. 349 00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:44,331 Twelve Kicks of the Tam School! Superb attack and defense! 350 00:41:44,568 --> 00:41:47,366 Iron Fist: Powerful yet delicate. Topnotch! 351 00:41:47,538 --> 00:41:50,837 Hexagon Staff, with its thousand moves. Mystical! 352 00:41:51,308 --> 00:41:53,640 Till we meet again! 353 00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:04,309 More lipstick! 354 00:42:23,707 --> 00:42:26,699 Stay there, or I'll break you in half. 355 00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:52,687 Sorry, we're closed. 356 00:43:52,863 --> 00:43:54,888 You can make a suit in no time. 357 00:43:55,065 --> 00:43:56,555 We're moving. 358 00:43:56,734 --> 00:43:58,565 This is good material! 359 00:43:59,236 --> 00:44:01,568 You know your stuff. 360 00:44:02,106 --> 00:44:04,267 This has high artistic value. 361 00:44:04,875 --> 00:44:06,206 How high? 362 00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:08,475 At least a few stories... 363 00:45:18,482 --> 00:45:20,712 Insulting the Axe Gang! We'll show them. 364 00:45:20,884 --> 00:45:24,047 Let's kill them all and make this place a brothel. 365 00:45:24,221 --> 00:45:26,212 Don't block my view! 366 00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:16,762 What's going on? 367 00:46:28,218 --> 00:46:29,344 Good! 368 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,351 Don't block my view! 369 00:46:36,527 --> 00:46:39,690 Damn! I told those nitwits to leave, but they're still here. 370 00:46:39,863 --> 00:46:41,592 - Really? - Yeah. 371 00:47:05,155 --> 00:47:09,148 What the hell is this fighting? Who'll pay for the damage? 372 00:47:09,326 --> 00:47:11,317 Sorry, sorry. It's nothing! 373 00:48:51,995 --> 00:48:55,055 You know what time it is? I have to sleep. 374 00:48:56,199 --> 00:48:58,099 Hey, fatso, eat shit and die! 375 00:48:59,002 --> 00:49:00,492 Die? In this racket? 376 00:49:00,671 --> 00:49:02,696 Sorry, sorry! 377 00:49:05,008 --> 00:49:06,999 Get out of my way! 378 00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:09,507 Hang in there, Tailor. 379 00:49:18,488 --> 00:49:20,615 Be quiet! 380 00:49:25,862 --> 00:49:30,595 Give us a break! Why push us so far? 381 00:49:45,282 --> 00:49:46,476 There's another master? 382 00:52:13,597 --> 00:52:15,588 It's the Lion's Roar! 383 00:52:16,266 --> 00:52:18,097 I thought that was a myth. 384 00:52:19,302 --> 00:52:22,271 Who knew the Lion's Roar really exists? 385 00:52:22,439 --> 00:52:26,034 That's the last we'll see of them. 386 00:52:29,212 --> 00:52:31,544 It's bad, Brother Sum. Quick, start the car! 387 00:52:31,915 --> 00:52:33,542 Start the car! 388 00:52:40,290 --> 00:52:41,450 Boss! 389 00:52:41,625 --> 00:52:43,889 Keep it down! Have you no manners? 390 00:52:44,060 --> 00:52:46,460 Get lost. People are trying to sleep. 391 00:52:46,630 --> 00:52:49,599 They have to work tomorrow. Get out of here! 392 00:52:52,836 --> 00:52:54,463 Scumbags! 393 00:54:20,323 --> 00:54:23,349 I can't hang on much longer. 394 00:54:25,729 --> 00:54:29,597 But having seen real masters like you... 395 00:54:30,333 --> 00:54:32,392 ...I can now die in peace. 396 00:54:32,569 --> 00:54:34,503 Don't say that. 397 00:54:34,671 --> 00:54:37,606 We're ordinary folks. 398 00:54:37,774 --> 00:54:39,537 Ordinary's a blessing. 399 00:54:39,709 --> 00:54:43,167 Don't call us masters. 400 00:54:43,346 --> 00:54:45,246 But you're such great fighters! 401 00:54:45,415 --> 00:54:49,681 If only you'd helped earlier, they wouldn't have to die this way. 402 00:54:50,186 --> 00:54:54,350 Like Donut said, everyone has his reasons. 403 00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,854 Years ago... 404 00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,454 ...we saw our only son killed in a fight. 405 00:55:02,732 --> 00:55:05,394 Revenge can be devastating. 406 00:55:05,769 --> 00:55:07,930 Do you understand? 407 00:55:08,104 --> 00:55:11,198 Why don't you train us to be top fighters... 408 00:55:11,374 --> 00:55:14,366 ...and we'll avenge them! 409 00:55:14,711 --> 00:55:18,704 Becoming a top fighter takes time. 410 00:55:18,882 --> 00:55:21,442 Unless you're a natural-born kung-fu genius. 411 00:55:21,618 --> 00:55:25,384 And they're one in a million. 412 00:55:32,962 --> 00:55:35,157 It's obvious I'm the one! 413 00:55:38,735 --> 00:55:40,930 Don't think so. 414 00:55:41,905 --> 00:55:47,275 Everyone! We swore we'd never fight again. 415 00:55:47,444 --> 00:55:49,844 But we broke that promise today. 416 00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:53,574 For your own safety, please all leave! 417 00:55:58,021 --> 00:56:01,582 In great power lies great responsibility. 418 00:56:02,092 --> 00:56:03,957 There's no escaping from it. 419 00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:06,921 Donut, you're hurt bad. 420 00:56:07,097 --> 00:56:08,655 Rest now. 421 00:56:13,603 --> 00:56:16,037 We can't understand what you're saying. 422 00:56:17,674 --> 00:56:18,766 Donut! 423 00:56:31,821 --> 00:56:33,812 I know you, four-eyes! 424 00:56:35,225 --> 00:56:39,821 You seem prejudiced against the sight-challenged. 425 00:56:39,996 --> 00:56:43,295 That's right. Especially gold-framed four-eyes. 426 00:56:47,537 --> 00:56:50,870 Gold frames are perfect for clerks. 427 00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:54,134 I think I look good. So why keep picking on me? 428 00:56:56,513 --> 00:56:57,502 Help me! 429 00:56:59,849 --> 00:57:03,080 "Help me! Help me!" Want to play, punks? 430 00:57:03,253 --> 00:57:05,084 The Dragon Style? The Tiger Style? 431 00:57:09,826 --> 00:57:14,263 Come down here, and I'll smash your glasses. Come on! 432 00:57:15,932 --> 00:57:18,162 You know I'd do it, right? 433 00:57:19,502 --> 00:57:20,833 Swear to it! 434 00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:22,769 Swear! 435 00:57:25,608 --> 00:57:29,908 Have you no respect? Where were you when I needed you? 436 00:57:31,681 --> 00:57:33,376 You sound like a wimp! 437 00:57:33,550 --> 00:57:36,713 We always get beat! We haven't gotten anywhere. 438 00:57:36,886 --> 00:57:40,617 No killing, no arson, no robberies, no rapes... 439 00:57:40,790 --> 00:57:43,350 ...all because of you! 440 00:57:43,526 --> 00:57:45,858 You're a numb-nut! 441 00:57:48,264 --> 00:57:49,595 Follow me! 442 00:57:58,274 --> 00:57:59,901 It's a stickup! Where's the money? 443 00:58:04,814 --> 00:58:07,009 Where's the money? 444 00:58:08,618 --> 00:58:10,745 What're you looking at? I'm serious! 445 00:58:15,692 --> 00:58:19,685 I kill people for less! Give me the money. 446 00:58:38,114 --> 00:58:39,775 The money's in here. 447 00:59:15,718 --> 00:59:17,549 Let go of the girl! 448 00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:35,231 He's a fool, and she's mute. Losers! 449 01:00:18,715 --> 01:00:22,116 Go away! You're dragging me down! 450 01:00:22,885 --> 01:00:27,982 Go home and raise pigs. 451 01:00:32,895 --> 01:00:34,385 Go, before I kill you. 452 01:01:23,212 --> 01:01:26,613 You! Whatsyourname! 453 01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:39,128 Take this and get some new clothes. You're now an Axe! 454 01:01:39,295 --> 01:01:43,129 - For real? - Someone's waiting for you. 455 01:01:50,039 --> 01:01:51,199 Brother Sum! 456 01:01:51,374 --> 01:01:55,868 One look at you, and I knew you'd do anything. 457 01:01:56,179 --> 01:01:57,168 Right! 458 01:01:57,346 --> 01:01:59,143 You just needed your chance. 459 01:01:59,916 --> 01:02:00,974 Damn right! 460 01:02:01,150 --> 01:02:02,811 We've an assignment for you. 461 01:02:02,985 --> 01:02:04,543 Anything, Brother Sum! 462 01:02:23,406 --> 01:02:26,398 "Research on abnormal people." What's that? 463 01:02:26,576 --> 01:02:28,373 A mental asylum. 464 01:02:34,117 --> 01:02:35,345 Soldiers! 465 01:02:35,518 --> 01:02:37,247 Boy Scouts! 466 01:02:37,420 --> 01:02:38,409 Tanks! 467 01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:40,556 No worries. 468 01:02:40,723 --> 01:02:44,352 When the Boy Scouts change shifts, you have exactly five minutes. 469 01:02:44,527 --> 01:02:48,463 Follow the arrows on the map. Go to the last cell... 470 01:02:48,631 --> 01:02:53,295 ...and get the man inside there out. Here's your tools. 471 01:02:59,208 --> 01:03:00,698 What about you guys? 472 01:03:00,877 --> 01:03:02,868 We're your lookouts. 473 01:03:14,223 --> 01:03:16,214 Five minutes. Hurry! 474 01:05:30,526 --> 01:05:35,361 The world's top killer indeed looks the part! 475 01:05:36,399 --> 01:05:38,731 It's only a title. 476 01:05:38,901 --> 01:05:42,359 Cut the bullshit. We want two people killed. Name your price. 477 01:05:42,905 --> 01:05:44,429 Name my what? 478 01:05:46,809 --> 01:05:52,076 I've killed so many trying to find a worthy adversary. 479 01:05:52,415 --> 01:05:55,714 So far, I've never found one. 480 01:05:56,052 --> 01:05:57,883 That's why I stayed inside. 481 01:05:58,054 --> 01:06:02,457 Had I met my match, I'd have been out long ago. 482 01:06:02,625 --> 01:06:05,093 If you find me a worthy opponent... 483 01:06:05,261 --> 01:06:07,559 ...I'll do it for free. No charge! 484 01:06:09,732 --> 01:06:10,892 Do you have someone? 485 01:06:11,067 --> 01:06:16,300 Yes. Brilliant fighters who are up to the challenge. 486 01:06:16,472 --> 01:06:18,804 But first, will you show us some moves? 487 01:06:18,975 --> 01:06:22,035 Not that we don't trust you. We want to see you in action. 488 01:06:22,411 --> 01:06:26,677 You numskulls aren't worthy! 489 01:06:31,187 --> 01:06:32,848 He doesn't look the part. 490 01:06:33,756 --> 01:06:38,955 The slippers are a little crappy. But he'll clean up well. 491 01:06:39,128 --> 01:06:41,028 You sure you got the right guy? 492 01:06:41,197 --> 01:06:44,530 Absolutely. I swear I did exactly what you told me. 493 01:06:45,835 --> 01:06:49,794 Please show us some moves, Mr. Beast. Don't make it hard for me! 494 01:06:49,972 --> 01:06:51,599 You dumb or what? 495 01:06:52,441 --> 01:06:54,432 You know what this is, old man? 496 01:06:54,877 --> 01:06:57,311 Ever seen a fist this big? 497 01:06:57,480 --> 01:07:00,608 Don't force me to fight. I scare myself when I fight! 498 01:07:00,783 --> 01:07:02,717 Really? Try me, then. 499 01:07:06,555 --> 01:07:08,716 Is he okay? 500 01:07:14,497 --> 01:07:17,057 So you say you can fight? 501 01:07:18,467 --> 01:07:19,456 Harder! 502 01:07:20,336 --> 01:07:21,325 Harder! 503 01:07:24,573 --> 01:07:25,904 Harder! 504 01:07:28,811 --> 01:07:32,303 You hit like that and call yourself a gangster? 505 01:07:37,286 --> 01:07:38,583 A foreign gun! 506 01:08:04,246 --> 01:08:09,582 In the world of kung fu, speed defines the winner. 507 01:08:13,689 --> 01:08:16,590 The Beast is the best of them all. 508 01:08:16,859 --> 01:08:20,522 The Axe Gang extends its respect! 509 01:09:02,304 --> 01:09:05,171 The real masters, together in one room! 510 01:09:06,275 --> 01:09:10,473 Only the world's top killer... 511 01:09:10,646 --> 01:09:12,841 ...has such an aura. 512 01:09:13,582 --> 01:09:14,810 Likewise. 513 01:09:15,417 --> 01:09:18,079 Could you two be the fated lovers...? 514 01:09:18,254 --> 01:09:19,243 Paris... 515 01:09:19,421 --> 01:09:20,513 ...and Helen of Troy! 516 01:09:21,323 --> 01:09:22,984 A pleasure, indeed. 517 01:09:23,259 --> 01:09:27,093 We're here to deal with the Axe Gang... 518 01:09:27,263 --> 01:09:28,992 ...and only the Axe Gang. 519 01:09:30,933 --> 01:09:33,766 You should've killed me before. 520 01:09:34,103 --> 01:09:38,540 Now you're committing suicide. 521 01:09:38,707 --> 01:09:42,040 You're living on borrowed time. 522 01:09:42,211 --> 01:09:45,203 You can't escape your fate! 523 01:09:45,948 --> 01:09:48,280 What's this? A funeral bell? 524 01:09:49,118 --> 01:09:52,451 With the Beast here, let's see whose funeral it is! 525 01:09:53,289 --> 01:09:55,018 So you're on their side? 526 01:09:55,191 --> 01:09:57,352 Don't get me wrong. 527 01:09:57,526 --> 01:10:01,121 I only want to kill you... 528 01:10:01,297 --> 01:10:04,198 ...or be killed by you. 529 01:10:06,702 --> 01:10:08,670 What do you think? 530 01:10:08,837 --> 01:10:14,173 The good cannot coexist with the bad. You can't escape your destiny. 531 01:10:14,810 --> 01:10:18,143 So be it. Let's do it. 532 01:10:19,148 --> 01:10:20,308 Okay. 533 01:10:21,850 --> 01:10:22,874 Let's do it! 534 01:10:43,005 --> 01:10:45,405 Piece of cake. I can handle this. 535 01:10:54,850 --> 01:10:57,717 Good try, but a little off target. 536 01:12:17,499 --> 01:12:19,160 The Lion's Roar? 537 01:15:00,028 --> 01:15:01,256 Wait! 538 01:15:02,431 --> 01:15:07,266 I didn't know the Lion's Roar could be done with a speaker! 539 01:15:07,436 --> 01:15:09,768 What a blow! 540 01:15:39,067 --> 01:15:42,400 - Looks like they're not up to it! - Let's get them while they're down. 541 01:15:42,571 --> 01:15:43,560 You do it! 542 01:15:43,739 --> 01:15:46,731 - I'm gonna puke! I need to see a doctor! - Go to hell! 543 01:15:51,179 --> 01:15:52,976 You! Come over here. 544 01:15:53,982 --> 01:15:56,143 - Hit him! - Yes! 545 01:16:00,589 --> 01:16:02,489 - The head! - Of course! 546 01:16:02,658 --> 01:16:04,387 - Hit him on the head! - Okay. 547 01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:06,357 - Here's your chance. - Got it! 548 01:16:06,528 --> 01:16:07,654 - Hit him! - Hit him! 549 01:16:07,829 --> 01:16:09,319 - Hit the shit out of him! - Right! 550 01:16:09,498 --> 01:16:10,760 - Hit him! - Hit him! 551 01:16:10,933 --> 01:16:12,696 Beat the shit out of him! 552 01:16:14,770 --> 01:16:15,759 What're you doing? 553 01:16:16,505 --> 01:16:19,440 You want me to hit him or beat the shit out of him? 554 01:16:19,608 --> 01:16:21,542 You're making me very confused! 555 01:16:49,871 --> 01:16:52,863 Wow, that's a big fist! 556 01:17:25,440 --> 01:17:26,839 Why did you hit me? 557 01:17:55,771 --> 01:17:59,104 Where are they? 558 01:17:59,441 --> 01:18:01,602 How could you let them escape? 559 01:18:07,716 --> 01:18:11,709 No one gets away from me! 560 01:18:25,367 --> 01:18:27,562 Why did he save us? 561 01:18:27,736 --> 01:18:30,830 Young people make mistakes. 562 01:18:31,173 --> 01:18:34,939 But at least he finally made good. 563 01:18:35,510 --> 01:18:39,207 Look at him! Beaten to a pulp. 564 01:18:41,950 --> 01:18:45,249 Do you have any last requests? 565 01:19:04,539 --> 01:19:07,440 Hey, wait! 566 01:19:07,809 --> 01:19:11,643 Why don't you write in Chinese? I don't understand. 567 01:20:08,003 --> 01:20:10,028 There's no one here! 568 01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:17,438 CHINESE MEDICINE 569 01:20:31,126 --> 01:20:34,118 It's a miracle he lasted this long. 570 01:20:34,796 --> 01:20:37,060 The herbs should help him. 571 01:20:37,299 --> 01:20:41,702 Herbal medicine can only partly help. The key is his own body structure. 572 01:20:41,870 --> 01:20:46,204 All his bones and tendons are broken. 573 01:20:46,374 --> 01:20:49,309 It's amazing he's recovering so fast. 574 01:20:49,811 --> 01:20:51,972 It can't be possible... 575 01:20:52,147 --> 01:20:53,705 Unless he's... 576 01:21:31,052 --> 01:21:32,576 What's that smell? 577 01:22:06,588 --> 01:22:08,579 You mustn't smoke while you're hurt. 578 01:22:10,058 --> 01:22:11,548 Let me handle this. 579 01:22:26,341 --> 01:22:27,808 This makes no sense. 580 01:22:39,454 --> 01:22:43,515 Who knew the Beast could clear the chi flow... 581 01:22:43,692 --> 01:22:46,252 ...and thus unleash the boy's true potential? 582 01:22:46,461 --> 01:22:49,362 We should've guessed. 583 01:22:50,598 --> 01:22:53,999 He is the one! 584 01:23:04,446 --> 01:23:06,380 Is this for real? 585 01:23:06,548 --> 01:23:09,108 You're still alive, you turncoat? 586 01:23:09,284 --> 01:23:11,684 Kill him, men! 587 01:24:06,541 --> 01:24:08,008 What kind of move is that? 588 01:24:08,343 --> 01:24:10,868 Kids' stuff! 589 01:24:38,773 --> 01:24:42,368 If our son were alive, he'd be his age now. 590 01:24:42,544 --> 01:24:47,880 If he studies hard, he could grow up to be a doctor or lawyer. 591 01:24:48,049 --> 01:24:50,882 A stuntman, more likely! 592 01:25:54,048 --> 01:25:55,606 Not bad. Let's go. 593 01:26:38,660 --> 01:26:40,719 I can even stop bullets... 594 01:27:51,099 --> 01:27:54,466 What? The Toad Style of the Kwan Lun School? 595 01:27:54,636 --> 01:27:55,830 Oh, no! 596 01:29:51,419 --> 01:29:55,355 Remember the Palm move that falls from heaven? 597 01:29:55,523 --> 01:29:58,686 That's the long lost Buddhist Palm. 598 01:30:43,004 --> 01:30:44,335 I surrender! 599 01:31:45,867 --> 01:31:47,300 What kind of move was that? 600 01:31:49,070 --> 01:31:51,231 If you want to learn, I'll teach you. 601 01:32:02,984 --> 01:32:04,315 Master! 602 01:33:18,159 --> 01:33:21,993 Hey! Tell him not to put snot on the glass. 603 01:33:22,163 --> 01:33:24,757 You two, put your pants on! 604 01:33:24,932 --> 01:33:27,594 No licking if you're not buying! 605 01:34:33,968 --> 01:34:38,564 Kid, you have the bone structure of a kung-fu genius. 606 01:34:38,739 --> 01:34:42,539 World peace is in your hands. Here's the scroll of the Buddhist Palm. 607 01:34:42,710 --> 01:34:45,304 Because it's fate, I'll let you have it for $ 10. 608 01:34:45,479 --> 01:34:46,537 Wait! 609 01:34:46,981 --> 01:34:49,381 You want more...?