on $*:TEXT:/^[!@.](8ball|eightball) /Si:#:{
  var %tk $rand(1,14)
  if (%tk == 1) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 Of Course, Not }
  if (%tk == 2) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 Hell Yea! }
  if (%tk == 3) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 Hells no }
  if (%tk == 4) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 Hmm Lemme Think [doesn't care] }
  if (%tk == 5) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 Dig deep inside urself and you will find ur answer. }
  if (%tk == 6) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 What a retarded question I'm not gonna answer that. }
  if (%tk == 7) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 STOP aboosing me...*cries* }
  if (%tk == 8) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 With questions like that suicide is probable. }
  if (%tk == 9) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 That will never happen. }
  if (%tk == 10) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 It shall happen withen the next week or so. }
  if (%tk == 11) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 Is that a trick qestion? }
  if (%tk == 12) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 YOU are the weakest link (meaning no, moron). }
  if (%tk == 13) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:0.    . }
  if (%tk == 14) { msg $chan 10 The 8ball says:4 I wasn't paying attention at the moment please repeat that until you get a kb. }
}