Now this is a story all about how my
Life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I become the last man on Earth.

In New York City born and raised
In the labroom is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
And all curin' some cancer outside of the school
When a couple of vampires they were up to no good
Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood
I made one little mistake and everyones dead
I thought, "I'm movin' with my dog to my fortress shed"

I was corned by vampires that ate my dog
But I was saved by a mexican that had immunity
If anything I could say that this bitch was rare
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to my lair!"

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the vampires yo holmes smell ya later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the last man on Earth.