and just to go on a little bit more, I miss you. I miss my good friend. ..it is something hard to articulate when in part, I rely on the safety of this mode... I don't expect things to go back to the way they were after not speaking to you since august. It is hard to say with conviction that i sincerely do want to spend some time with you, especially when i email you to say i'm bailing. Perhaps I just need to acknowledge that things are difficult right now, and i can appreciate that. My hope is that we'll soon share some time, and maybe not so many words, but at least a few smiles. My hope is that things will be understood in the way we don't talk to each other. It hurts right now... The days, the weather, cycles of significance that I can remember between you and me.