A man walks into a pet shop looking to buy a monkey.

The shop owner points towards three identical looking monkeys in animal-friendly, safe natural mini-habitats.

"The one on the left costs $500," says the shop owner.
"Why so much?" asks the customer.
"Because it's MCSE Certified" answers the shop owner.
The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told, "That one costs $1,500 as it's RHCE Certified" answers the shop owner.
The startled man then asks about the third monkey.
"That one costs $5,000" answers the shop owner.

"$5,000!!" exclaims the man. "Jesus! What sort of qualifications does it have??"
The shop owner replies, "You know, I've never seen it do a damned thing, however it says it's a Consultant."