on 1:text:!dew:#: {
  if (($calc(($ctime - %lastupdatetime)) >= 15) || (!%lastupdatetime)) {
    set %lastupdatetime $ctime
    /describe $chan  opens a can of Mt. Dew and puts it in front of $nick
  }
}


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Ok, how this works.

the !dew is the trigger in line one, and the # after !dew means that this script will work in any channel.
line 2 and 3 are spam protections, meaning the 15 tells the computer to not allow any more then 1 of these commands every 15 seconds.
line 4 says to /describe (which is a /me command) in the $chan (which is the channel that the trigger was set off in) and then it tells what is supposed to be said. then you have the closing } } on the last 2 lines.