Q: Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?
A: Why yes, it does. Henry F. Phillips (1890 – 1958), a U.S. businessman from Portland, Oregon, has the honor of having the Phillips-head screw and screwdriver named after him.

Q: Why is it that night falls but day breaks ?
A: The day breaks because night falls. (Day takes the hit from night falling.)

Q: Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquidmade with real lemon juice?
A: Economics, artificial flavor is cheaper. But for dish washing soap, real lemon juice is used because it improves cleaning. 

Q: What if there were no hypothetical situations?
A: Then this question wouldn't exist.

A:If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
Q: Because ears don't give blank stares.

Q: If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
A: Racist.

Q: Does anything besides "stencil" rhyme with "pencil?" I mean, theres like "cancel" and stuff, but that's not perfect.
A: Vencill. (A very rare surname.)

Q: Does anybody actually die of "old age" anymore? Did they ever?
A: Technically no one dies of "old age." It isn't used in death certificates. Death from old age is a generalization for a plethora of issues that are the cause of elderly passing away.

Q: Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
A: The sound from the alarm clock is going off

Q: Can you cry underwater?
A: Yes, but it would be hard to open your eyes.

Q: Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to to kids when the song is about letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground? Same with ring around the rosie. It's so morbid!
A: They're too young to know the difference or care, plus the songs help the kids fall asleep. 

Q: Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness? I mean, isn't that kind of the point?
A: It's a liability.

Q: Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? I want some purple ones!
A: There isn't enough bubble bath solution in a bubble to filter out the other wavelengths (if the bubble could filter out the other wavelengths, you would see purple).

Q: How is chess considered a sport?
A: I'd pass out if i tried to play for 2 days straight...

Q: When Atheists go to Court, they can't swear on the bible, can they?
A: The alternative is an Atheist who doesn't want to swear in God can affirm he is aware of the penalties of lying.

Q: Why does every Abraham Lincoln impersonator sound the same, even though there are no known audio recordings of the man?
A: Because Abraham Lincoln impersonators' train their voices to sound like what you would think Abraham Lincoln's voice would be.

Q: Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?
A: Arm hair follicles aren't the same as head hair follicles.

Q: Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Or cars?
A: That's how they do business.

Q: Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? "Sally, look at the beautiful fish! Now we're gonna eat them."
A: It goes with the theme of Sea World.

Q: Why do they put holes in crackers? Does that actually help anything?
A: The holes keep the crackers flat and release moisture.

Q: Does a baby feel the umbilical cord being cut off?
A: No. There are no nerve endings in the umbilical cord.

Q: Do babies produce more spit than adults?
A: Dunno, but pregnant moms do.

Q: Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not?
A: Chemicals from conditioners are not the same as shampoo.

Q: Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
A: Onomatopoeia is.